Yeah yeah yeah, it's been a while

Happy new year! I know I've been slack on posting, but my boss went psycho one day when she caught me shoe shopping online so I've tried to keep the work wedding planning to a minimum, which is really the only time I have to plan...so...

Many exciting developments to report. Things are officially in "countdown" mode. Basically my whole year is planned already, at least through the end of October.

On the wedding side, I now have shoes, a dress, a hairpiece, and a pearl necklace. My dress is a short, strapless patterned dress with white and yellow details (subtle yellow--kind of deep ivory) that people either absolutely love or absolutely hate. All I can say is I had the dress on for like 30 minutes in the store trying accessories because I felt so pretty and bridal in it. I bought an ostrich feather clip to go in my hair...it's so outrageously fabulous--and Mrs. Zwart is going to make me one of those old-fashioned side swept netted veils like Kenley used on her bride. I bought some leather peep-toe pumps in white from amazon.com for a steal and then got some ivory bead and crystal brooches to add a fancy touch that were also a steal. They came out looking as nice or better than $300 shoes I saw online. My mom and sister bought me this neat rough-pearl drop necklace (meaning the pearls aren't rounded they are in their original shape). It's totally unique looking.

While I was home I met with my tent vendor. I think my dad got fed up with him because he kept adding random $25 fees for every little thing. I still think we can get the back yard done up for around $3000--oh yeah, I guess I should say my mom caved on the wedding at the house! I've been auditioning a jazz band for the reception. They are pretty good, but I don't like the vocalist much. I guess I'm pretty picky though. My friend Bailey is going to sing at my wedding and she knows a violinist and a cellist that will do the music. I met with the florist and we'll be having white casablanca lilies, green button mums, green and white spider mums, green roses, black magic roses, and purple flowers with hypericum berry and queen anne's lace accents. My dad is planning to do some lighting on the dock and we may exit the reception that way and do sparklers as we leave (maybe on a boat??!!). We have the cake picked out to do a white three-tier job with fondant purple colored ribbon at the bottom of each tier with a little ivory pearl detail along the edges with some fresh flowers on top. We aren't firm on the food yet, but my mom's cousins are catering, and I've heard wonderful things about them. I'm working on a plan to have a bus shuttle guests between my house and the hotel so everyone can enjoy our beer, wine and champagne with no worries!

We are trying to decide on the rehearsal dinner. We're hoping to do an informal affair with beaufort stew and oysters, but we're stumped on the place.

I'm having an engagement party in Dallas in February. We're going to do fajitas and margaritas at Cantina Laredo. John and my family will finally meet! Much stress and excitement is felt leading up to this swoiree. Invitations! Booking! Figuring out what to do with our families for a whole weekend!

Nikki and I are discussing a nice little bacholorette party over Labor day weekend at an Edisto rental. I'm going home in May for bridal portraits.

What else? I'm trying to get in shape and look good. I went to the dermatologist and found out that I had skin bacteria and have been on antibiotics for a month. My face is better now. He also told me that I had keratosis on my arms and I've been putting this crazy foam on my arms and that's better now too. I started using dove bar soap because the technician recommended it, and now my skin is smooth as a baby's. I went to the dentist and he filed down the edge of my two front teeth where I had chipped them. I gave up diet coke this week in an effort to be less gassy, have whiter teeth, and possibly to kick my caffeine addiction and start feeling better and lose weight. John and I are exercising. I am going on a "diet" for a couple weeks before my parents arrive and start snapping pictures of me.

And some more dress shopping

I went to Charleston this past weekend for my mom's 61st birthday. It was a really fun trip. If I didn't care about finishing graduate school in a timely fashion or ever having money, I'd do a three-day weekend once a month.

I decided to broach the subject of budget with my parents on Sunday night before we went dress shopping. Needless to say, it was tense and my mom and I nearly came to blows, as expected. She just kept getting caught up on the teeniest details instead of just focusing on the big picture, which was the point. Apparently she just thinks I want to spend extravagant amounts of money on everything and have her pay for as much as possible. This is not true. I just wanted us to get on the same page early on so there wouldn't be too many surprizes. Instead we just argued about the rehearsal dinner--"what if John's family wants bologna sandwiches, is that okay with you??" Also, she was trying to tell me that I would find an absolutely gorgeous dress of designer quality for $100. I'll get back to this later.

My mom and sister and I went on a marathon dress shopping expedition on Monday. My dad thinks I tried on a total of about 27 dresses. We first went to this cute place called Gown Boutique of Charleston. Every dress I tried on was very pretty. It was really weird because my mom, sister and I, despite differences of opinion on what the best dress on me was, were pretty much on the same page about what was good and what was bad. We also decided that this cute little feathery hairpiece would be super-adorable in lieu of a veil. At the top, Adele Weschler "Abigail," and below Lela Rose "The Park."

At the next store, Maddison Row, we found a lot of dresses we liked too. My mom liked a lace Vera Wang, but I hated it. I really liked this funky sun design dress by Carolina Herrera, but Nikki said the sun design looked like a target right over my hmm hmm.

Next, we went to a store that carried sub-designer dresses. The lady helping me at the store insisted I try on all these dresses even though I told her I didn't like full-skirted dresses or sparkly ones. She also kept trying to put veils on me even though I told her I didn't like veils. She had me try on over ten dresses. My mom hated all of them. Thus began the transformation of my mom from believing that quality dresses could be had for $100. She clearly has caught the designer bug.

This is not to say that other people wouldn't benefit from less expensive styles. Unfortunately for me, I am short but not skinny. I have to get dresses that fit a certain way and have detailing in just the right places so my arms don't look fat, the neckline isn't distracting, the draping hides my lumps and accentuates my curves, and the skirt is full enough to make my hips look small and yet not so full as to make me look short.

At any rate, I came home super-stoked because I found a sample dress of the Lela Rose Park dress on sale for half off. After checking their return policy, I quickly put it on my paypal account and began contacting wedding dress seamstresses and cleaners to assess whether I could really make the dress fit and look new and at what cost. Then, at 11am, I got a call from the salon that they mistakenly allowed the transaction even though the dress was already sold. I was very disappointed yesterday afternoon, to say the least.

But I have now bounced back and am making appointments at four Dallas bridal stores and have contacted Blush about getting estimates to see if I can get a better price on the first dress pictured in the last post I made. I still need to see if my mom likes that one though.

Also, while I was home, my sister gave me an official binder to keep my magazine clippings and appointments and contacts in. John for some reason loves this binder. She also gave me her Tiffany champagne flutes to toast our cake cutting at the reception. Checkin' things off the list!!!

Stay tuned on the dress....

Many ideas for the wedding

This weekend all of my bridesmaids bought purple dresses.

That was exciting. And no, I'm not having my bridesmaids wear black tights. Unless they just want to. I also have several ideas for flowers and table arrangements. I love the purple and green orchids. I'm thinking just to tone down the color with a little bit more white in the arrangements. And I love the two cakes! I love the green orchids on the second cake, but I might do a purple ribbon instead. I like the idea of the apple and the orchid....I'm not so sure about those peas though...Oh yeah, and I tried on two cute dresses this weekend. I'm getting very excited!!!!!!!

Another dress shopping weekend!

I'm revisiting a store I went to last weekend to try on dresses tomorrow. I'm taking John with me. I don't really care about "bad luck" of him seeing me in my dress, besides, it's not really my dress since they only carry dress samples at bridal boutiques. Plus these dresses are probably more expensive than my mom will let me have.

The dress I really want costs around $3000-$5000 and I would have to have it custom made in Chicago: http://www.alicepadrul.com/2007collection.php#_self click on "Lily". If someone wants to tell me how to paste pictures in here, please oblige me.

So my first expedition dress shopping was two Saturdays ago. John and I found this boutique called "Mockingbird Bridal." I tried to get in the door and was immediately confronted with the sight of a girl trying on a strapless satin ball gown. So I sidestepped her into a little room off the to right holding dress sample. Every last one of them was a strapless satin ball gown. I elbowed my way past the girl to find the next rack of strapless satin ball gowns and was practically pushed into the rack by three girls gushing over a strapless satin ball gown. I fought my way through the crowds of mothers and daughters and bridesmaids-to-be to get in line for the dressing room with the one lace dress with straps I could find where another bride was trying on a strapless satin ball gown. Four dress assistants walked past me without so much as asking if I needed assistance. By now, I'm totally nauseated by the spectacle and I tell John we might as well save ourselves and get out of there. The moral of the story is the following: don't go dress shopping on a Saturday and don't go without an appointment.

So then I went to Terry Costa Formals on the following Friday. I told the lady I was doing and informal outdoor wedding, and that I was leary of strapless satin ball gowns. She said "that's gonna be a problem...." So she put me in a bunch of things that were totally opposite to what I asked for. She said there were some choices like I asked for, but the samples were about a size 6 or 8, so my size 12 body was not going to fit into them. Most of the dresses I did try on had to be clamped onto my body so I could see how they would look zipped up since none of them would zip over my enormous blubbery back. In the interest of saving the zippers in the sample dresses, she began putting them on over my head. She tried to put a mermaid silouette dress on me and the "fishtail" portion of the dress wouldn't go past my giant hips, so I had the bust of the dress around my ears. I was slightly embarrassed. Please email me if you want to see the pictures of the hideous experience.

The next day, John was picking up some shirts from a place in a fancy shopping center in Highland Park. A cute wedding dress boutique called "Warren Barron" was next door. No one was in there, so though I knew I couldn't afford anything in that store, I went in. The ladies were nice and even let me touch the dresses. The owner of the store asked what my budget was and recommended a similar store with less high end stuff "Our dresses start around $5000" she told me.

It was a nasty day with the hurricane coming in, so the lady at the other store, Blush Couture, told me to come right in. So I did and I got to try on about eight dresses, all of which I loved a lot more than anything at Terry Costa. And they didn't even carry ball gowns. And the lady told me my figure was too cute to hide in a shapeless dress anyway. Did I mention I love this store? And when she was printing out my appraisal she let me eat these delicious things called "cruffles" which are cakes covered in chocolate like truffles. I cannot describe how delicious these things were....I ate two.

So the three dresses from the Bellissima collection I tried on were these:

Emilia...which looks pretty damn close to the Alice Padrul I love...and check out the ruffles on the back!!! http://www.bellissimabridal.com/couture/emilia.html

Tessa...which I normally would hate on the rack, but my curves looked so smokin in this dress...I looked like Marilyn Monroe!!! http://www.bellissimabridal.com/couture/tessa.html

And Silvana..really my favorite dress in concept, but the others may have looked better on my body...John will have to weigh in for sure: http://www.bellissimabridal.com/couture/silvana.html

So I'm pretty excited to have John see them because they are all beautiful dresses. Anyway, they're around $2000-$2300, and my mom has informed me that the most I should pay is $500. Which doesn't make sense to me because they tell you your dress should be about 10% of your total budget. Am I having a $5000 wedding? I hope not....

Anyway, I'm going to Charleston for my mom's 61st birthday next weekend. So I'm going to sit down with my parents and outline a budget and then we're going to do family dress shopping together next Monday. So I will keep my faithful reader updated on how that goes!!

Very exciting development: reception music

As I've mentioned, I had many of the details for John's and my wedding far before we got engaged. Here is the story of our first dance song:

My sister bought me a karaoke toy for Christmas last year because I love karaoke. On the "greatest hits" SD card, there were included several 80s music videos. John became a quick fan of "Safety Dance" and "We Belong" (Pat Benetar). I liked Night Ranger's "Sister Christian." The next one on the list was "Always" by Atlantic Starr. Neither of us knew what it was, but when we clicked on it, we both looked at each other and belted out the lyrics of the love-song duet. It's still one of our favorite songs. One day, I said to him, we should have this as our first song at our wedding. He enthusiastically agreed.

Here's the song, if you need a memory jog:
http://www.yourweddingplace.com/wedding-songs/first-dance-lyrics/lyrics%20always%20atlantic%20starr.htm

Anyway, John is also very keen on having a jazzy/swing type band play at our reception. So I have this brilliant idea. I'm planning to have one of my friends who is now a choir director sing at the ceremony. So I put it past her to get a male vocalist to sing this song with her at the reception, possibly a capella since most of the song is singing anyway. She said she'd love to, so I'm very excited to hear her performance because this song often brings tears to my eyes even though it's totally cheesy (and obviously to dance for the first time with my husband, too).

Dealing with my mother

Before I even got engaged I knew exactly what I wanted to do for my wedding day. I had it all planned out. I even knew who the wedding party was going to be and asked them the night I got engaged.

I informed my parents that I was hoping to do something simple and relatively small, in my childhood home's backyard. My dad was thrilled. He thought it was great because much of the decoration cost for the wedding would actually go toward permanent beautification of his property.

However, my mother went psycho. She first explained that you had to consider rain for an October wedding. I pointed out that there was no month in which rain was a total impossibility. She said we'd need a $25,000 tent and we'd have to lay astroturf in case of rain. Astroturf??? Are you kidding me???

Then there are the horses in my neighbors front yard. What was I planning to do to block the view of the horses? Where are people going to use the bathroom? Where are people going to park? Where is the wedding party going to walk in from? How can I cater a reception that is at the same location as the ceremony? Am I planning to replant the entire yard with fall flowers? She was totally ballistic. I almost started to cry.

My mother has been warming up to the idea of having it at her house over the last few weeks, but of course everyone is siding with her that it would be better to have the wedding at some third party venue. She tried to get me to do Reflections in Lexington. Their ceiling looks like the ceiling at my office and the pond is green. Then she wanted me to do Riverbanks. I love the gardens and the terrace, but I've been unimpressed by what I've heard about their catering and their indoor space is a little awkward. She's trying to get me to look at this old building with a garden that supposedly looks like a New England chapel. It sounds nice, but she doesn't think they have a liquor license, which is pretty much going to be an impossibility for me.

We got on the topic of beer the other day. She said, well, you should have Miller Light and Michelob Ultra so everyone will be happy. Um, what is she thinking? I said, if we're only doing two beers we'll have to do a light and a regular because not everyone drinks light. I tried to make the analogy of going to a party and all they have is diet coke and diet dr. pepper. She said, what do you mean...your dad drinks Ultra and Anthony drinks Miller light. Did my mom forget that my future husband might want a beer at his wedding? One that perhaps is not light? So I suggested we do kegs instead and get three: one each with Anthony and Dad's beer, and a Shiner keg. Well, unbeknownest to me, kegs are totally without class. Because it's much classier to hold a beer bottle in a wedding dress. I guess it doesn't matter though since my mom thinks I should spend between $200 and $500 for a wedding dress.

UGH!!! I'M NEVER GOING TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!

Engaged: Three weeks

I am blogging about all the fun and exciting details of planning my wedding. Interestingly, a lot has already happened in just over 21 days of engaged bliss. In this post, I will detail my engagement story and the reactions of close friends and relatives. I've already begun planning and trying on wedding dresses, but those will definitely need their own posts.

John and I started planning to get engaged in January. We went ring shopping a couple of times and set a budget and a savings plan. John, of course, never stuck to the plan, and I changed my mind a thousand times since shopping about what I wanted. Late this summer, I was more ready than ever to "seal the deal" and I found a ring that was 20% under our original budget. We ordered it by mail and it arrived at our apartment office on Friday, August 22nd. I was so anxious about the ring and I promised John I wouldn't open the box until he got home. And he was working until 8pm and it was only 4pm. I calmed my nerves by drinking an entire bottle of merlot--not my finest moment. Finally, he got home and proposed as soon as he opened the box. It was a beautiful ring, exactly what I wanted. We made last-minute reservations at our favorite upscale restaurant. The food was delicious, we got to toast champagne, and we discussed what we would put in our vows if we wrote them ourselves. Then we both passed out as soon as we got home.

My mom and dad were very happy for me, though I wouldn't say they were rejoicing. My cousin and most of my friends were a little shocked, but extremely happy for me and excited--I had already done so much planning that I asked everyone that night to be in my bridal party. My grandma Thelma was shocked and told me she thought I was kidding when I told my family back in April that John and I were ring shopping. My grandma Autry told me that it was good I was waiting a full year to get married in case I changed my mind--she's not the sensitive type. My sister knew it was coming and had already started planning my wedding for me.

I called my sister and cousin's wedding planner (my voice teacher) the day after I got engaged. She was ready to take action and get me on the right track for starting to plan the festivities. I was so excited I couldn't sleep the whole weekend because I was waking up thinking of the guest list, colors, location for the ceremony and reception, food, flowers, makeup, dresses, cakes, favors, parties, etiquette, etc.

Since then, I've tried to keep the wedding-talk to a minimum, but it's very difficult. I watch every episode of Bridezillas and Whose Wedding is it Anyway?, but not platinum weddings because it gets me down. I spend about two-six hours a day on brides.com, weddingchannel.com, and theknot.com. I'm really trying not to put John off with my new obsessions, and fortunately he's pretty into certain aspects of the planning.

So this is what my life has become in less than a month. Join me.